tl;dr – A link at the bottom I recommend you read if you hate yourself, too! :D
I hate myself! Yay! If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s self-loathing, for sure.
I don’t say this for attention.
But, I say this with humor.
Because that is my defense mechanism for dealing with uncomfortable things. This is not related to dysphoria of the body or being Trans.
I don’t know what started my path of self-hatred, but it’s hard to not default to it most days. I’m sure I could trace it back to my childhood and how I was never held enough or given affection…but going forward from here is what really matters.
I have a difficult time talking to people, even loved ones, about my feelings because of this. I assume no one wants to hear me. No one wants to listen. And that they all have valid reasons to hate me, and I should hate myself for those same reasons (even though I know it’s like 99.9% fabricated, bonafide bull shit).
I have never received help for these thoughts and feelings, and I know they are all too common. Queer, Cis, Boy, Girl, Tri-gendered Fox-Kin, no one escapes self-loathing. It lurks in the shadows, waiting to strike. And it hurts when it does, but we can’t stop it. We sit and we take it until we run out of ammunition to keep shooting ourselves in the foot.
I have bought books, read articles, taken vitamin’s and other supplements, but never gotten help. And while I may address some of these issues while going to my Trans Therapy…I wanted to share this link.
I feel like it speaks for itself. And if you’ve ever hated yourself…you’ll understand.
Thanks for listening, lost ones. :)