Trans-How-To: Get the Ball Rolling

I’ve been absent for a while. The biggest update I have so far?

I got an appointment at Kaiser and went through the intake process at the psychiatry department. Now, I feel qualified to teach you how to do it.


You want your hormones, Trans-Fam? You get the doctor. You can DIY it, but it’s a better idea to be supervised. So if you’re going the doctor route and you have Kaiser, this is exactly how to get started. (If you have another medical company? Probably the same shit, different name)


For me, this was the scariest part. Not the impending surgery, the changes in my body, learning to put needles in me…

Making. A. Phone. Call.

It was scary because I had no idea what I was doing. Like. What do I say? How do I put it? So here’s what I did (because some people like step by step things. Like me. And I couldn’t find step by step things):

I called the appointment number. Just. Kaiser’s general appointment line number to make an appointment. I’d post that number, but it varies by region. If you’re a Kaiser Permanente member, you can find it easy on their website. It’s probably on the back of your medical card too.

Just press the button to talk to a person right away. Don’t fuck around, you’re wasting your time. It won’t let you make an appointment for the psychiatry department without talking to a human being. So get ready!

They’ll greet you and you tell them you want to make a psychiatry appointment. They’ll direct your call to that department.

That department will greet you and ask you some questions. You can open up with why or be shy and awkward, however you feel comfortable, but you need to get out the following (and do it better than me):

I’m calling to make an appointment for….
(I said gender things. THINGS. Not transitioning. People don’t be as lame as me. I can’t undo this.)

And they’ll ask you some very standard questions about your mental health and if you’re coming because it was court ordered or work related. Naturally, this is not the case, but they have to ask. So don’t get weirded out.

Then you get an appointment! Yay!

The first appointment is literally just an in-take. They’re going to get surface layer into things here, but it’s this person’s lovely job to rate your depression and anxiety and find you the best fit for a therapist that can guide you along the way.

They’ll probably ask how much you know about transitioning or if you’re starting from the ground up. That’s just to give them an idea. You can know nothing, it’s okay. They aren’t expecting you to know everything.

And then they’ll call you later when they have a therapist selected and you get to make an appointment with your actual therapist!




The First Post

I could mull over all day what to write here, but the fact of the matter is:

This first post is always the most awkward.

  • What does the reader expect?
  • Who I am?
  • What I will write about?
  • Do I write well enough to entertain the writers needs?

But the truth is, I have no straightforward way to answer those questions or provide you proof of an answer. What I can tell you is WHY I decided to create this blog.

This isn’t my first time, that’s for certain. When I was younger, I wanted the world to know my feelings and validate me- which was all a cry for attention that I felt I was deprived of (which still isn’t wrong, however it wasn’t the best way to cope with that feeling).

As I have grown and learned myself, I have stumbled upon something big.
Larger than life.
A monumental decision.
Something that had been a fleeting unattainable thought until now.
I’m not a lesbian.

Shocking, I know! Any one who knows me, knows I have this running gag of all lesbians like gay guys. It’s just a “lesbian thing”. Just as all straight guys like lesbians. I’m using the term all very loosely here.

What brought about this notion was my friend asking my partner,

“What does (Lost Boy) identify as?”

I didn’t give it much thought at first. I liked being boyish. But I liked being a girl sometimes too. I thought…I’m just boyish. Or…sometimes, I could like being a guy. Maybe I’m gender fluid? Which is a term I had to look up.

The more I pondered, the more I researched. The more I researched, the more I realized.

I was not comfortable with the term lesbian. But I had earned the label by being a female what is attracted to other females. I went through the hardships of acquiring that title. The pain of having to come out of the closet every time I moved schools. The agony of having to come out to my parents not once, but TWICE (I was received with complete denial the first attempt).

Now, the reason I’m starting the blog, before I get too carried away, is next.

I think I’m pretty sure I’m gonna go out on a limb and say —

I’m a boy.

To document my feelings, my relationships, and my journey as I discover this statement, which I hold to be self-evident, I have created this blog.

I don’t seek my feelings to be validated. My goal is not to gain attention (as I will be using Pet Names for all of my friends and family.

My ultimate goal is to be a guide and/or an example for those who are also just Lost Boys and Girls.

Peter Pan - Second Star to the Right